Going into the future, while carrying my past as baggage. | #PTSDchat

Going into the future, while carrying my past as baggage.

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Friday, August 11, 2017, 1705 hrs


We live it, we experience it, we tolerate it, we exonerate ourselves based upon the excuses we make when we mess things us. Life.


With living comes opportunities and changes that we can or not choose to make. Simplified, we all should have the power to make or opposing, to not make choices. Poor persons, (powerless) don’t experience this very often. They are educated to believe that their position in life is a necessity in order to promote the harmony that is enjoyed by someone other than themselves, and their living with and around other persons who have been indoctrinated to feel this way, makes it difficult to see any other way that should be thought about as a way to do things for themselves.


Education should be uplifting and promotional of developing the intellect and the imagination, not used to make oppression acceptable.


As steps are taken, experiences are cataloged into our minds, and each of these forms the basis for who we feel that we are inside. If we receive rat-torn information, we will feel that it is normal to not feel the drive to seek to achieve for our own benefits but to make sure that we make ourselves available to work for the uplifting of the lifestyles of other people.


Being told by your parents that you are worthless, stupid, dumb, a pain in the ass, a stumbling block to their happiness, can damage the emotional health of a young mind, and this damage can fester until it becomes the norm of what is the mindset f this individual. It looks odd to outsiders, weird, and even dangerous.


This is “baggage”. This is emotionally injurious input that stays with the person and causes a stunting of their personal development or a twisting of their inner reality. It is also the exhibit that causes some in society to see such a person as an aberration, and some “thing” to be feared and shunned for the differentially it appears to be.


Have I ever felt aberrant? Only to myself. I felt so undecided about who I was and what I had become that the decisiveness of the confident person I used to be had left me in the dust! I was lonely for my own self, not for someone else to come along, but for me! Explanations as t how this feels are not even worthy of the exhaustive amount of energy it would take to fail at being able to do so!


We’re talking about baggage, we are not discussing the materials you take with you onto a plane or a bus, I’m talking about the extravagantly negative self, that has no reason for being there, other than to take up space and add a weight to our emotions and mindset that has only the quantitative value of quashing the extraordinariness of the individual who used to not be so hindered by its presence.


I am happy about the strength I have received through meditations and prayers to God and from friends, to help me see my patience to at least try to deal with this. And I pray daily that other persons who are affected by the hindrances of emotional injuries and the aftereffects of its disingenuous nature can do the same.


My goodness, but we are a special group are we not? Aware, yet unable to simply dismiss, a causation of discomfort for so-called “normal” people who have to place inferior sounding labels on us, in order that they maintain their feelings of superiority. For them, I can see why our conditions would be so disconcerting and so astonishingly frightening. After all, they know that they too are only an incident or two away from standing in the mire with the rest of us! That has to have an effect of profound proportions!


I’m searching, and I’m doing so in unison with major issues that disrupt all of my abilities to focus on the one, but I get to come here and at least read some encouragingly uplifting stories and insights, that at times now, my mind just is not in the position to allow to me.


They cut, something changes, they remove, something is left lessened. It’s life, it’s truth, it’s baggage.


Let me add here, that baggage can be created from even the positive events in our lives if we are aware that they have caused pain or harm to someone else. This can lead to a type of guilt that never seems to go away, or at least, never seems to let go of us from its grasp. Pain and shame often go together. And they can come from happy events.


Now, we, (those of us who are working on healing and relief), can add to the conversation, and finally some competent even if confusing input can be a part of the ongoing conversations, rather than just speculative verbosity, without the slightest idea of whether or not anything of relevance is being said.


Peace, my family of friends, and may God bless each of you, and may you be are that the blessings are there.


I’ve seen blasted lives, no way of their ever being put back together in any way that would seem close to the one that was present before, but I see so many persons who will fight, who will suffer, and who will inspire other persons to see that there is a reason to want to exist, even in the new and more or less, less than wanted form that is left in the result.






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