On the top of the person on the bottom! | #PTSDchat

On the top of the person on the bottom!

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Friday, August 11, 2017,  2225 hrs.

Pushing against the tide when it’s coming in; have you ever tried to do this? I have and I learned that the liquid we take so much for granted, is powerful in ways that we are only just beginning to comprehend! I have seen it push aircraft carriers sideways, hundreds of thousands of tons of material, moved as if it had no weight at all, I loved it!


I have stood and stared and listened to the sound of the Niagara Falls, for over eight hours, just one place, no movement, no talking, just being overtaken by the power of its magnificent and more than likely unknown mightiness! Inspiring beyond belief for me!


Flying in a jet that can fly at more than twice the speed of sound and be able to see the world come and go as quickly as I could open and close my eyes, was an experience that I can’t forget, it showed me the power of movement, in place of its absence. Man, the more I learn, the more I know that I don’t know, and I love this because it gives me the motivation to move into the future in order to learn more than my ignorant self of today!


Ignorance is a state of not knowing, it is not a state of not being able to use that which we know! So… I have a theory: we have to create spaces where not knowing is not damaging to our intellectual standings. So far, there are many who stand on the pedestal of terrifyingly assumptive qualification of being correct when in fact, they are keenly aware of their knowing nothing about the subject matter of which they claim to be in expertise over. This frightens me to my core!


When gaining a position is the catalyst for doing a “thing”, it diminishes the significance of what is being done, and it demeans the person or people who are deciding that they need to accomplish this particular activity and or motions. Wasting of time is the most profound proof of a person who is not in tune with him or herself! The display is rather ironic in its comicalness, and at the same time, it’s melancholiness.


The man I see who is standing under the weight of the group has allowed me to stand atop his shoulders as I try to find a way out of this mess, and then as I look, I see feet in the way as I look into an upward direction, looking down at the man upon whose shoulders I am standing, I see solid ground. Now it hits me hard; I’m standing ono the man who’s at the bottom of the pack, I’m nowhere!  

I’ll be a son of a tin of stale biscuits! I’ve been assuming that a step up was real progress, and now, I’m even more stuck than I was before. At least before I took that step up, I could go my own way, now that I’ve joined the group, if I leave, many could be injured with my sudden absence! What in hell was I thinking? Or in truth, was I thinking at all about anything other than how I could benefit by getting on top of the crowd?


Emotional injuries could be described in this way. An intrusion looking for a way to get out, but gets trapped by getting itself into a group from which it’s only exit will cause more damage. Maybe?


Our information highways are bereft of innumerable exits from its journey. Emotions have to travel until they find their off-ramps to fit into place. Traumatic experiences are the unauthorized vehicles on that travel way, they exist outside of the formulae of best intent and operations for the emotions and the mindset.


A four–car-pileup can be disastrous for all who are involved, in more than just one way. I’ve seen them happen where no one was seriously injured, just a few bent bumpers and dented fenders and some broken lass. And then, there are the ones that have deaths, dismemberments, a permanently lasting set of consequences. An event that outlives the minds of most who see its aftermath, but for others, never ending in its demonizing qualities. This is PTSI, the never ending memory that causes a disruption in the flowing of emotional travel. Could I be somewhere near correct in this description for more than myself?

(Damage + injuries) – (treatment/repairs) = permanence of pain and damage = PTSI and other emotional injuries.


We are better than this, and we know it, so we keep trying to repair, treat, and mediate and build new off-ramps for damages to exit without causing so much future disruptions.





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