Friday, August 25, 2017, 1720 Hrs.
Are you uncomfortable with sharing your secrets? This is not abnormal, this is a necessary construct for the human mind to maintain a level of self-sufficiency. Our minds are strong, almost lethally so, places where information becomes hard places of protection and of strength for the person inside of whom it rests.
We seek the preciousness of perfection when in fact, the position does not exist. Nadia Comaneci scored a “perfect 10” in the Olympic games. But then I asked, why is a “10” the best a person can achieve, and if it is achieved, it is only done so by the subjective position of the people who are judging the events. I have seen other gymnasts perform as well or even better than someone who has achieved a high mark, but the judges saw it differently. This is how so many of us measure ourselves against other people and their lives.
I have a secret. I don’t like everything about the world I live in! I love the world, but there are parts of it that I dismiss as being bad and unworthy of my emotion of liking what it happens to be! Secretly… I’m just a human being and not some Superman with an invincible sense of likable traits. There are times when I hate myself, and this happens when I start to fall back into that false sense of needing to fit the paradigm of the perfect person. The perfect body type, the perfect color, the perfect mindset, the perfect house, lifestyle, wife, kids, car, money in a bank account. All of the bullshit that creates the weight which eventually wears out that emotional structure and lets in the injurious objects, the bombastic elements that cause destruction.
I cannot say that anyone else has experienced this type of invasion into their security, but I sure as hell can, and with confidence to spare! Center your thoughts at times when you feel a triggered event coming on? I tried this, and I found that for me, it made me focus on the problem rather than the relief. I’m working on this, believe me. And I am kind of envious of those persons who can do this with increased speed and efficiency. Envy: another emotionally dangerous system of feelings that need to be placed into check!
What is it, however, that is a secret? Is it something that can be known but is kept away from the knowledge of other people? Or is it something much more different than we have assumed for all of our lives?
Secrets have so much unseen power, so much relevance inside of the inner workings of the mind of each individual who is walking this earth today, yesterday, and who will be tomorrow!
I have learned that the keeping of secrets uses up a lot of energy and a lot of time that I could have used to become more of whom it was I wanted to be, and not who it is that people expect for me to be! I was the problem here because I gave in to the pressure being exerted from outside influences. Today I’d say, “To hell with them, I can be myself, and if they don’t like it; they already have an address to go to!”. However, this too would result in my accessing more pain due to my self-exile from the socialization process.
a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position.
living or disposed to live in companionship with others or in a community, rather than in isolation:
People are social beings.
Of or relating to human society, especially as a body divided into classes according to status:
Think about all of the words in the above definitions. Aare you truly comfortable with being seen a s a part in a formed human mechanization which is bereft of the individual imagination, only being important if you submit to the fitting into the process?
I truly believe that when a person’s imagination is broken down to where it is seen as an abnormality rather than a positive and necessary process for important individual development, emotional injury begins to take hold.
When this person tries to be an individual he or she is targeted by those individuals who have accepted the process of forgetting the importance of individualism, and bullying begins, in order for them to feel that they have made the right choice to give up their personhood, just to fit in with an ideology!
Individuals are a danger to so-called “normal societal expectations”. The person who would not conform is always singled out as a problem and as a danger to the process.
We who have differences in our emotional tendencies are considered to be incompatible with the plan. We are labeled to be disordered and in need of solving, or being at the very least, reduced in our levels of activities, thus the drug-culture that is recreating the mind from processing the truth of our not being so compatible with normalcy.
I can tell you this: I am not incogitant (thoughtless, inconsiderate, lacking the faculty of thought), I am a thinking and a thoughtful person, I am not inconsiderate of the feelings or the needs of other persons, and I don’t see anyone here in this way! However, the experts may disagree, in order to protect the new-age truth, which was yesterday’s abnormal: that being that individualism and imaginative co-existent was necessary to produce progress.
done, made, or conducted without the knowledge of others:
kept from the knowledge of any but the initiated or privileged:
I don’t see PTSI(D) as being a secret, so much as I see it as being incompatible with new-age systems of understanding. I see it more as something which defies an easy sense of being understood by a person who is not attuned to thinking outside of the limitations of the box that has been produced to encapsulate the imaginations of children during the early educative process. This is why emotional issues are seen as disorders and as being dangerous; because they don’t fit the narrative, they disrupt the alleged flowing of the system’s necessary process. A person who is emotionally injured can see what abnormality is, and this person seeks the things that are normal!
Bullying, inaccessibility to peace, lies that produce inter-racial hatred, governmental oppressions, wars that destroy humanity’s necessity, and the probability of humanity destroying itself in a standoff of ideological stupidities which can only result in complete extinction of ours and just about all other species from the face of the planet! No exceptions, no survivors, no codicils to the initiatives will play out, it will all be gone, just gone.
We are both cursed and blessed, with emotional issues. They may hurt us, but they as well, keep our minds from the incessant obscurities of the new-age, “cult of personality” which has all but destroyed the future. We see the truth, which is why we hurt more than do other people. We can’t escape it, our minds let in knowledge without a filter, and the events that are triggered, are attempts to fix the breaches, they can work, but I don’t know if I really want for this to take place.
Maybe, and I do mean MAYBE some of my PTSI issues, are a blessing against the curses it causes me to undergo as well!