Friday, April 13, 2018, 1845 Hrs.
Child abuse: physical maltreatment or sexual molestation of a child.
What does this definition say about child abuse, really? Is it complete, or are there some major elements which have been left out that makes this definition a bit lame, or even somewhat non-definitive in its strength? How can we truly know?
An abused child or an adult who was abused would know, that’s how we can find out the truthful answer! I know the hesitation to talk about child abuse, I was molested as a young child. I was able to fight off the actual physical side of the attack, but the attempt is enough to have scarred me and to have left me with the inability to simply trust so-called ‘friends” of an adult stature, even to this day! In my thinking about the subject, an adult who attempts or does abuse a child is worthy of seeing an abrupt and painful end to his or her freedom!
Children are seldom believed when it comes to making an accusation of this type against an adult, and this is the cause of so much of the hesitation children feel in reporting the situation to anyone else. Sadly, even today, there are few outlets where a child will feel safe in reporting or even talking about it with anyone. organization s make promises that are seldom if ever kept, so the mistrust goes deeper and the pain becomes more prevalent. An inability to trust becomes one not just of other people, but of self, and this is damage that can add up to the complete collapse of the inner-being. The core of a person can become a putrid mess of itself. This usually protective field is corrupted and laid waste and it becomes a part of the field of destruction that has compromised the safety elements with which a child was born. Normal becomes a stranger and even an enemy, it has no more positive an identity than a monster-under-the-bed to the affected child. Take a few minutes to place yourself in this position, feel the lack of control the loss of your personal safety, and the lack of feeling a way to make it go away. The abuser often tells the child that telling someone will only get them(the child) into trouble and they might even be taken away from their family in response to saying anything about it.
A pig tried this on me, I hurt him in response, but so many children didn’t have my training or my willingness to hurt in response to the attempt, that their lives become a mess of mashed-up thoughts. A child in this place can become a living nightmare to him/herself. Living in the daily abnormalcy of nightmarish consequences from which they see no escape and no one who can help them. This is the child who will “supernova” collapse in upon him/herself. Creating inside a “black hole-like” malevolent force of negativity and of fear from which the feeling will be that no escape. How hollow and misplaced amongst life this is for the person who feels trapped in this way.
Treatment and therapies may be helpful, but what if the trauma is so deeply rooted inside of the mind of this person that they cannot access the parts of their minds that have not been damaged? Can this person ever find a sense of inner peace? Can joy be anything but a fleeting emotional rest stop along their traveling on the highway of emotional trauma?
Are we looking deeply enough to find answers, or are we even looking enough into the debilitating process of the child-abuse-process to be of any good to any child who is going through this process even now? What about the adult counterparts who are walking around now, with the “Thousand-Yard-Stare”? (a vacant or unfocused gaze into the distance, seen as characteristic of a war-weary or traumatized soldier or person.) Can we be of help to those of them who refuse to admit to their pains and the events that have caused them to exist?
Child abusers live in a world all their own. Psychologists have fancy nomenclature to describe these abnormalities, but to me, it is the substantive disposition of a person or people, who need victims to make their small egos seem larger and to make them feel superior as they live inferior-based lives. It could and probably is more complicated than this for a majority of the abusers, but for mine, this is where he lived, in the shadows, his own shame had created due to his undercover homosexuality and unwillingness to come clean about it!
The monuments that decry the practice of abuse are not enough to stop it from happening, and the wealthy have less of a chance of ever being charged with the crime than will anyone else. Why would a child or even an adult take the chances of having themselves marginalized(treat (a person, group, or concept) as insignificant or peripheral) and stigmatized by such a system of such demeaning construction? We need better than this, and we deserve it as well!
Let’s get this straight: children and adults are being abused constantly, and we need better ways of stopping it and then, of treating the victims. No matter where we tell ourselves we’ve arrived at in our lives, if it can be recalled, and felt, it is not resolved! I know it isn’t for me, even though at the time I fought back and hurt my abuser before he could complete his task, it still haunts me that this person even tried to do this to me. I can admit to this because it is a part of the way that I choose to try to heal at least some of the traumas. Maybe I will never each full healing, but any piece of peace I can recover is worth the effort.
What can I do for the child who is screaming from within him/herself, and has no way of letting anyone know what is taking place in their lives? Social organizations have been a dismal failure at best in my experience in this action, with many a child falling into chasms, and not into just cracks!
Holding on for help that will never arrive, or even if it does, getting caught up in the red tape of issues that strangle the process from being effective in doing what is supposed to do.
When I was victimized, I kept it to myself, I took care of the situation pretty much and I made sure that the ass who tried it, he knew that I would be talking with someone who would corroborate my story, should he ever try it with any other kid, and he knew me, I’d find out, somehow.
Talking, sharing, corroborating and collaborating with each other is a very important effort for each of us to put forward. I have been triggered many times by what I have read on the chat and on the site, but it was worth the discomfort, I was trying to find answers and I never expected for the process to be easy to deal with, in any respect!
What are we going to do about child abuse? Who is willing to step up and do a little more than talk about it? If like me, you’ve been a victim, don’t you want to do something? I advocate for children because now as in days past, there are few people who listen to them, they hear them talking, but they’re not listening to what is being said, and this is a stepping stone for these children to join the clubs that are destructive and also death-dealing.
Live, love, activate and advocate for the voiceless.